


Never Alone

by Tobezilla



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Returns, Flashbacks, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 18:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9620018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobezilla/pseuds/Tobezilla
Summary: Even Captain America has rough days. Sometimes he needs a reminder that he's not alone.





	

“Sweetheart,” Steve curled into a ball in the corner of the bedroom he shared with Tony and tried to focus on his breathing, “I’m coming to you right now. You’re going to be okay. You’re not alone, okay? Everyone should be back in half an hour. Do you think you can wait just a while longer?” He tried to speak through the broken sobs but he could barely breathe and speech was beyond him at that point.

The Avengers had been sent out on another mission. The Captain was forced to stay home while he recovered from the last mission, something he was bitter about but understood. Had there not been complications, the team would have been back by the time he woke up. But Hydra had never played by the rules and took the Avengers by surprise.

A combination of the winter weather and snow covered ground, the blanket of night that fell over Manhattan and a badly timed nightmare sent Steve into a full-blown anxiety attack. He was going back and forth between the forties and the present day. He could feel Bucky slipping through his hands and the feel of the carpet beneath his feet. He could hear Peggy loud and clear, how her voice broke as they spoke for the last time for the next couple decades.

He blinked several times but his blurred vision didn’t help in the slightest. He banged his head against the wall, trying to escape from the sound of Peggy’s voice. There was a part of him that knew the forties were far behind him, that he was in the twenty-first century with the Avengers and not the Howling Commandos.

When he woke up, he had been lucid enough to grab onto his phone and dial Tony. But a minute into the panicked conversation, he lost touch with the present and was consumed by old memories. He hurled his phone across the room, not hearing nor caring how it shattered the moment it touched the bedroom door. But Jarvis transferred the call to the speakers.

“Honey, I need to hear your voice. Talk to me. Can you see anything around you?” Steve furrowed his brows and tried picking things out in his surroundings. But the windows showed a snowy Manhattan and that was where his focus went. “Snow.” He choked out. “So cold.” A violent shiver wracked his entire frame and he tried curling further into himself.

He heard Tony say something and then the windows blacked out. A low but warm light illuminated the room. “Tell me what you see, Steve.” Tony said softly.

Steve inhaled deeply. He blinked a couple more times. Pictures were a big thing for Steve. He was scared that he would wake up decades from now without the Avengers, with nothing to go on other than memories. He would have to start over again. Taking pictures helped with the anxiety. It was something concrete that he could keep with him, no matter how much time passed.

A photograph he took of Natasha a couple weeks ago was staring at him. Clint had tried making cake with Tony and somehow, they managed to cause a cake to explode. Frosting and chunks of cake hit Natasha head on. How Clint and Tony were alive was a miracle. 

“Natasha.” He choked out.

There was murmuring on Tony’s end. Then Natasha’s voice flooded the room. “Tony and Clint should count themselves blessed to be alive. I wouldn’t want to hurt you and Phil by killing your idiotic partners.” She stated.

Clint said something in the background. “Clint may not make it home.” She added.

Steve could feel the anxiety leaving his body the more he heard Natasha and Clint bickering back and forth. He slumped against the wall, taking another deep breath. He squeezed his eyes shut. “They’re really gone, aren’t they?” He whispered after a while.

An overwhelming silence came over the room. He nodded in response to his own question. Every anxiety attack, every flashback, was like ripping open a healing wound. He relived the moment he lost everything and the moment he realized he lost everything. Another sob escaped him, for a reason other than panicked hysteria. His depression always hit him full-force after his episodes. Suicidal thoughts cloud his mind and he wants nothing more than to end everything, to die. He slapped his head a couple times.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed. The next thing he knew, he was being pulled against someone’s chest and fingers combed through his hair. He knew the chest belonged to Tony and the fingers were Natasha’s. He focused on the sound of Bruce’s voice and then there was a familiar hand pressed against his lower back. He reached back, hand latching onto the metal prosthetic that definitely belonged to Bucky.

“Not goin’ anywhere, Stevie. I’m right here.” Bucky said.

Steve wrapped his other arm around Tony’s waist and pulled him closer. “None of us are going anywhere. Right here, both loving and annoying you as always.” Tony said.

Clint scoffed. “I don’t know about you but I’m definitely not annoying. Don’t lump me in with you.” He said.

“You are _especially_ annoying. You give _new meaning_ to annoying.” Tony responded.

Before they could start arguing, Steve chuckled and turned his head to rest it against the arc reactor. The blue light never failed to calm his nerves. “Thank you.” He breathed.

There was a chance that he would never get over the fear of losing everything for the second time. He may have episodes a million more times. But one thing that was for certain was that there would always be someone there to remind him that he wasn’t alone. He never had been. The people around him only changed. Tony grabbed onto his face and lifted his head up to press a loving kiss against his lips.

“No problem.”


End file.
